Today I go try for trade with the Pigman some things I am not need for some things I am need. Pigman say about give me almost nothing for what I was trade so I say no thank you but when I was leave him say the so amaze thing. Pigman say about him go to a far away place for get some trade things from him boss. Him say about see a so old lady there with lines on she face like me and Marko and her was work in a kitchen and make some soup. I cry for maybe her was my Grammy so I run home and tell Marko. I get ready my gear for the long walk there and Marko say about him stay and watch my house for me get back. If the old lady is my Grammy I will be so glad feel of it because I love my Grammy and not seen she nice face in the so long time. I am not take this book so I am not write in it until when I get back. I am not know how long is I be gone. I get the sad feel for leave every thing I am know since I become here but if my Grammy is alive then I am find her no matter what. I give Jack the nice skritch on him dog head and hug Marko tight and walk in the direction Pigman say about. I am not know if I am ever come back so I say goodbye to this book and thank it for help me so much. Also I ask them clouds above show me the way to my Grammy. I guess that is all of my say for now.

Sort Of Nap

Today was just for lay around and sleep every body was so tired feel. But my brains was not shut up. I try for close my look and go asleep but mostly not do it. I am empty feel but my head is full of talk talk. 

Jack was take a nap all day too I guess be a dog is hard work. I am think Jack has a girl dog friend now because him been away a lot. Dogs like them other dogs is just the way of things. I miss him sweet face when him gone but Jack is free got no chains on.

Marko was sleep hard I hear them big snores. I make a place for him hammock and put some nice things for him stay there. I have the hear of talk in him dream. I am not know what was his say but the sound was strange like call out for someone far away. I think Marko is have hard thinks but not say about them to nobody even me. 

I am not like that I am talk too much about them thinks in my skull is hard to stay shut up about it. I try for sleep it off but my look was stay open for all the nothing in my head is talk at me so loud. I wisht for some body throw water on me and put out them think fires. I wisht my fingers in my ears would block out the sound of my brains. I wisht for get some sleep.

Tomorrow I am make a soup. It is the only do I know.

Some Game

This morning Marko went for dig in some junk piles and find a box of rusty old parts for I don't know machines. Him bring them home and set all them up on a board got boxes on it and then make me sit like time to eat.

Marko say about some them machine parts was old but still in they plastic shells so some get the rust and some not. He line them parts on the edge boxes and keep them rust ones together. 

Then Marko open him mouth and say words and things I am not even know what was they mean. Him talk about them machine parts is a game where they move around in some boxes and try for win I don't know how. 

When him explain them rules of game my brains have thinks of nother things. I seen him mouth move and hear sounds come from it but my head was full of think its about haul some water and feed the grubs and what was the funny smell on Jack yesterday. Marko say ok Sam are you understand the game rules and I nod and smile like I did.

At first I think the game so easy if is just move them parts around in boxes. Marko say nails is soldiers and them fight for protect the big gear with the pointy hat. Pointy hat was the big important thing but Marko never say about why it is so better than the nother things. 

I lay down for get the better look of my soldiers. Marko was talk more about play the game but I mostly was think about the pointy hat one and why is him so special. Each them nother parts are good too and they all belong together. I think about make them a crate house for they rusty families live in it. 

Then Marko say about capture some soldiers with him piece name of tank. Tank was move around and capture my side pieces and Marko make them a pile for him gloat about it. Him let me capture one soldier so I could know the feel of it. I was not feel much about capture a nail but I worry about all my side pieces be caught. I was wonder if Marko just make them rules up as him go along.

I stare and stare at them parts on the board and have a wonder of what am I even do about it. I was not really understand them rules so not probably win the game. Even when I try for make my pieces run away them still get capture and put in the pile. I get so frustrate I want to throw all them parts in the Fissure. 

But Marko was have happy eyes and I like to see them so much so I decide for let him win. Him win pretty fast after that. My pointy hat was in a trap of him tanks and there was no other do about it. 

So then I decide for make up a rule too and I grab all them parts of game and make a pile in front of me and say look Marko I got every thing I win. Then I give him one nail for him could know the feel of it too. Marko was just stare at me like not understand anything in my say.

But him smile was tell me there be happy in him heart so I pretend to eat the metal parts and him laugh deep like a old barrel. Him say about have some lunch now but I tell him winner is make him own lunch. Marko make a bear sound and pretend a long think then ask if I want to play the game again.

Home For Lunch

When me and Marko get home him say about have some lunch so I make a nice soup with I don't know meat and sweet lemon grass. I get a good feel from make a soup for Marko my most favorite thing to cook is for my friends. 

Marko was relax and say about some time is him make him famous buzzard chili. I am know Marko the so long time now and him is always say about famous chili but not do the make of it. But when him say about it him voice is happy.

I make some flatbreads too because Marko is big like a tree and eat like a hog. I have the long think it when was I make them breads about the day I meet Marko and how scared him was then. Is different for Marko because I was born a slave but him was caught for be one. 

I am never seen nobody eat like Marko eats like there is a race for finish it. I think him times in the slave hoard make him like a aminal and parts of him just stuck like that. Him say about love my soup and so good was them flatbreads too. And Marko was eat flatbreads my Grammy make so him know what good is.

After lunch we sit back and be quiet. I like when you friend is ok about be quiet together some times I got no words in my head for say it. So we just sit together and be quiet it was the most nice feel I got in the long time. 

Itch Is Gone

When Marko and me was walk home after have a talk about it we seen where was the house of Itch and Mel. But every thing of them was gone they whole house was just empty. I get the lonely feel of it and wonder why. 

I am not even know where was they go or if they be ok. I seen no bloods and Marko say about does not look like there was a fight just them is gone. I hope I am see them again I like Itch and Mel.

People are come and go around here I guess. 

Walk Home

"Come on Peanut, time to go. I was thinking maybe I'd stay with you a few days, eat all your soup and get you drunk. If you don't mind me hanging around like that."

"You are always ok come in my house when ever is you around you know that."

"Okden, I'll get my hammock on the way. We can stay up late and do each other's hair."

"Either you're a lot heavier than when I gave you a ride last time, or I'm getting old."

"You are get old." 

"Well, glad we got to the bottom of that." 

"I have a wonder about am I ever get old. I am not feel old not like Grammy or you."


"Seriously though, I got aches I never had before. Some days after chopping the wood I feel like I'm gonna fall apart. Have to put me out to pasture pretty soon!"

"I am sit with you in the pasture."

"Feel that? That's my hand. I'm not letting go, Sammy, not ever."

"I have to take a bath some times."

"Like when?" 


"Some times I am come here and all them sands and empty skies give me the so small feel. But also is a nice calm empty feel so good and rest my brains some." 

Lean On Marko

"Is there anything I can do?"


"Ok, I'll do nothing."

Marko Is Good

"I'm sorry I tricked you about the puppy, kiddo."

"Is ok Marko I know the why of you say it."

"You know, everybody has bad feelings sometimes, you're not alone there."

"I know. Folks have bad feelings but them bad feelings have me. I get the so sad is make my nose cry blood some times. Normal folks don't fall on they knees because of feel so dark and ugly like they brains is broke. Everything of me is hurt. I am so frustrate about it."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait out those headpains. You do get happy, I've seen it happen. You will again, it's just going to take some time. And I got lots of time."

"Marko why are you so nice at me?"

"Big hero type, can't help m'self." 

Talk And Sit

"Do you feel like getting some lunch?"


"How about a hopscotch tournament?"


"We could ride the lift in the Fissure up and down?"


"Don't you want to throw an old sock for Jack?"


"You can make a soup out of almost nothing, want to get those pots and pans working?"


"We could go hunt buzzards!"


"Want a new puppy?"

"… yes…"

"Well sorry, I don't really have one I just wanted to know if your mouth could still say yes about something."

"I have the feel of a stone in some river so curl up and hard with all them cold waters rush over me I am only still."

"Want a ride home now?"


Marko Walk Me Around

"Peanut, you down there?"

"People have been asking where you are again. So, where are you?"

"How do you live in this cave, girl? I'm gonna get you a window for Giftmas."

"Hi Marko I am not go no places today for all the sad in my brains not go away."

"So, looks like I'm dragging you out into the light of day again."

"How are you back there?"


"Where are you take me?"

"I'm going to throw you in the Great Fissure and ring the bell."

"No you not!"

"Yes I am!"

"No you not!"

"Yes I am!"

"So talk at me girl. You're in the dark place a bright day. Did something happen?"

"I wake up like this. I wake up and not want to be awake no more. Is happen over and over."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"My sad is not about some thing is about every things and hang on me like some stink I can not stand it never wash off."

"My whole self has the feel of when you get a cut and them skins around are hurt if you touch it. Even my normal think it has the feel of kick you in the head with some boot. I get the so tired feel about it always make me sad. And when I talk about it is just get worser."

"I know you fight it, kid. It's a good fight and I'm on your side, always."

"I miss my Grammy."

"I know you do."

"Call me Peanut please."

"Hi Peanut."

"Thank you."